The coyote is a long, slim, sick and sorry-looking skeleton, with a gray wolfskin stretched over it, a tolerably bushy tail that forever sags down with a despairing expression of forsakenness and misery, a furtive and evil eye, and a long, sharp face, with slightly lifted lip and exposed teeth. He has a general slinking expression all over.
Mark Twain, "Roughing It"
I’m here at the Yosemite Valley Lodge parking lot with the well-known coyote who has had his image showing up on all kinds of social media, including Twitter, Instagram, and multiple online newspapers. During the coronavirus shutdown of Yosemite, a National Park employee photographed Mr. Coyote relaxing in this very same spot with Yosemite Falls as the backdrop. Mr. Coyote became the “poster child” for all of the Park’s wildlife that finally got to enjoy the famous views without interference from thousands of Park visitors.
Today I will be discussing with Mr. Coyote some of the recent events occurring in the Park (including the April 20th photo) and what it’s like, in general, to be a coyote in Yosemite (my questions/comments to follow in bold).
My first question relates to the popular April 2020 photo of you seemingly enjoying the view of Yosemite Falls during the Park shutdown and the absence of human visitors. How would you describe the situation at that time?
There’s not much to describe. I walked across Leidig Meadow looking for a bite to eat, snacked on a couple of deer mice, and then came up on the trail south of the Lodge. I stopped here at the parking lot to rest and to let my digestive juices start to flow . . . if you know what I mean.
Did you notice the Parking lot was missing a couple hundred cars and people?
You know, that’s a really dumb question. During April, the Park averages about 7,500 visitors a day, and suddenly the only humans here in the Valley are Park employees and most of them have been quarantined! Of course, I noticed there are no humans! How could I not? It’s been pretty obvious since the shutdown occurred on March 20th.
Okay, did you purposely stop where you did to view the Falls?
I just told you what I did. I came here to rest. Plus, do you see me carrying a camera for sight-seeing? The only times the Falls are of any consequence to me in the Valley is if they have dried up. All that means is that I know not to bother to hydrate near them. As long as I have a water source, I’m good.
I see. Well, let’s move on to the next topic. I read that a dog recently contracted the coronavirus from a human source and died. Now that people have returned to the Park do you have any concerns about getting the coronavirus?
I don’t understand your question. What does a dog dying from the coronavirus have to do with me?
Uh, well, it seems since you are similar to a dog, I thought maybe the risk of obtaining the virus might worry you.
Let’s get something straight. Are you a chimpanzee?
Well, no, of course not.
Are you sure about that, even though humans and chimpanzees reportedly share 98% of their DNA?
Yes, I am completely sure I am not a chimpanzee.
Well, guess what? I am completely sure I am not a “dog” even though coyotes and “dogs” supposedly share 98% of their DNA. So, no matter how your classification system tries to make us the same or similar, it’s not so. In fact, I eat dogs . . . or, I should say, if a meal-sized dog was allowed here in the Park, I’d eat it. My cousins in the suburbs increasingly are finding dogs to be an adequate meal. We take what we can get to make it to the next day. If it means eating a dog, I’ll eat a dog.
Plus, those deer mice I’ve been eating for years are the source of hantavirus for you humans. Yet, I haven’t got sick once from eating them, so I don’t need to worry about getting a virus from humans. Plus, I can assure you, I may not be wearing a mask, but I’ll keep physical distance from you people. Dogs don’t have that level of intelligence and have a knack for getting too close to humans. We coyotes are smarter than that.
I get it. You’re not a dog. In light of that, many have lauded your hunting skills. Undiscovered-Yosemite.com states that “The coyote of Yosemite is a smart and crafty hunter, and two will often hunt together. One will trot out in plain sight to attract the attention of their prey while the second, keeping hidden, sneaks up quietly from behind. They have excellent eyesight, good hearing, and a keen sense of smell . . . all of these critical for successful hunting.“ Would you say these descriptions accurately reflect your hunting abilities? And, is true that you hunt together?
A coyote has to eat. Same as you.
As I said, we do what we can, day or night, winter or summer. We find the food, we detain it, and we eat it. To us coyotes, it’s a simple process. As I mentioned, on my way over here I grabbed a quick snack crossing the meadow. We don’t need to help each other but sometimes when we encounter hard times, we will work together. My brother and I have done it a couple of times.
Although your keen hunting skills have been acknowledged, some do not have such a glowing account of your presence. Mark Twain, a famous American writer noted that a coyote ”is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede. He is so spiritless and cowardly that even while his exposed teeth are pretending a threat, the rest of his face is apologizing for it. And he is so homely! -so scrawny, and ribby, and coarse-haired, and pitiful.” How would you respond to Mr. Twain?
Perhaps a glance inward to determine his own status in this world’s ecosystem would serve a better purpose for Mr. Twain. He pathetically indulges himself in useless anthropomorphisms, and mistakenly disparages the noble traits of the coyote. Coyotes are a valuable part of the ecosystem here in Yosemite. We, like others in the animal world, abide by a simple principle: Work for what you eat and be satisfied with it. If that means a rabbit or mice or a fawn dies for my lunch, that’s a good thing because it keeps me alive.
If I am full and satisfied, I’ll leave you and anyone else alone. If I am hungry and my stomach starts to growl, however, my hunger pains become my first order of business.
You, humans, on the other hand, never seem to be satisfied. I clearly make a distinction between dog and coyote because although I would eat a dog, I would never eat a coyote. Yet, you humans go on taking advantage of one another in your perpetual self-interests. I believe you have a saying for it: a “dog-eat-dog” world.
You go on accumulating things you cannot eat, even aggressively ‘exposing your teeth in threat’ to dominate over one another until one claims victory. Is it not you humans who also proclaim that “he with the most toys wins” as you fill your homes and garages with things you don’t need? Is it not the humans who are a “living breathing allegory of Want’ as Mr. Twain may have actually been referring too? Do not even entire nations kill off one another only for the instigators to scratch their head at the end of their killing fields wondering, ‘what that was all about?’
Let’s return to your “famous” Mr. Twain. Was it not he who accurately portrayed the true state of affairs among you bipeds when he asked, “Isn't human nature the most consummate sham & lie that was ever invented? Isn't man a creature to be ashamed of in pretty much all aspects? Is he really fit for anything but to be stood up on the street corner as a convenience for dogs? Man, "Know thyself --& then thou wilt despise thyself, to a dead moral certainty." -- Letter to William Dean Howells, August 31, 1884 taken from www.twainquotes.com
Twain elevates the dog over you humans, so we need not debate the merits of one human’s negative opinion of the presence of coyotes in this world.
Hmmm, okay. I can’t say I ever thought of it that way. Excuse me, Mr. Coyote, did you hear something just now? What was that noise?
You mean my stomach growling?
Yeah, yeah. It did sound like a stomach making noise from hunger!
Well, like I said, those deer mice were just a snack.
Oh, I see; yes, just a snack. You know, I think this would be a great time to end this interview, Mr. Coyote. It’s been . . . uh, thank you for agreeing to this interview.
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